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| Avatar- Leo http://www.desibucket.com/tag/cat/page/2/ |
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| Our Beloved Kop II http://i1004.photobucket.com/albums/af166/GodMatt/CatPopeFinal.png |
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| http://www.deviantart.com/art/Anchor-Cat-293479065 |
Meow folks, this evening's breaking news is brought to you by Breeds Bread, Your Bran for Life.
Welcome visitor! This is an introductory pamphlet of Katizens Kulture.
This will inform you of our kulture and fill you in on some of the most important aspects.
This description of our world is written in Standard English, as
no one outside of Katalonia is privileged to speak our language, Kata.
Katalonia is divided into three distinct levels which correspond to our social
strata. The towers hold the elite social class, the Sphinxes. They are
privileged by our father, for they are the protectors of our future and carry
out the Kop’s laws. The Sphinxes are hairless and fragile looking but they are
our finest enforcers. Next there are the Katizens, who abide by our father’s
rule. We willingly administer our Kat Snapz without hesitation and have no
qualms with the Kop for he is our beloved leader. Lastly, there are the Unders
from the Underground. They are the resistors of the future, stuck in the past.
We are Katizens. We are ruled by our father the Kop. There
are two distinct social classes, and a third never openly discussed class, the
Underground. The first social class is made of the Sphinxes, they are the elite
Kats. Then there is the everyday Kat. We are law abiding katizens and we live
well. Peace abounds between the Katizens and the Sphinxes. It is only the
members of the Underground, run by Al Catpone. He refuses the Kop at every
instance. He holds on to the past and will not receive the future. He
continues to use the old language, and it is rumored that he houses the
largest collection of items that cause Stirrings. I hear whispers among the
adults that the Resistance is nearly wiped out, however, my father believes
otherwise. He thinks they are getting stronger and if the Kop does not get
control of the situation terrible things will happen. The world will go back to
the dangerous place it once was.
Stirrings in our culture are a thing of the past thanks to the
invention of Kat Snapz. If administered properly everyday, stirrings are
altogether avoided. It is absolutely essential that one does not miss their
dose. You can tell who missed their dose because of the way they look and
react. If one continually misses their dose they are sent to rehabilitation,
some come out others do not. For those that could not make it through rehab,
they are released.
Another important aspect of Katizen kulture is every day at six
o’clock sharp, the national anthem, Nyan Kat is played. Everyone stops what
they are doing and gives reverence to the Kop. A montage of his work is played
before every event. There isn’t a house or business that does not have a
picture or several pictures of the Kop. Our beloved Kop has done much to
improve our world and for that everyone loves him. He is the Father, he is the
beginning and the end.
When we enter the sacred palace ground every midweek for the
Gathering ,we must dress appropriately or we will be denied entrance. If denied
entrance, there is a backlash within our community. Your block will look down
upon you and thus you will remember next time to correct this misstep. We are
required to bread before we enter the grounds. The bread is symbolic of life
that has prevailed from the past. The center is symbolic to our role in the
community. With our faces in the middle, there is a chunk of life missing. We
are the link to each other.
We must closely pay attention to each other’s body language for
there is hidden meaning. We never say what we mean. Conversations are a
dance between speakers. We never show emotion in our faces, for those are a
thing of the past. This ties back in with the Kat Snapz. If you miss a dose,
your face betrays you. We are the most agreeable beings you will ever meet to
your face, however, pay attention to how we are saying things. We will never
come out directly and ask you for something. You must always offer. This is
what holds us together as a one unified nation.
The concept of time is pretty much nonexistent. Time will always
be there. There is no rush to come or to go, you can stay as long as you like
anywhere. If a task is not completed today, that is fine because there is
always tomorrow. If a Katizen even remotely shows that they are in a rush, they
will be scolded by many of the older Katizens. The older Katizens may say
something along the lines of what is the matter to ending the day, when there
will always be tomorrow or relax, take in the sun my friend. What could be so
important that you have no time to experience the present?
Everyone in the community has their
assigned job. These jobs are assigned when we reach the age of two. No
one’s job is any better than the other. Each of us has a job to do and we do it
willingly. For without cooperation, the past will gain a foothold and swallow
us whole.
So whether you are a street cleaner, a food handler, or a kemistry kat, one
does not hold a higher status. We are one and the same as our neighbors. We are
unified together.
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| http://pictures-of-cats.org/sphynx-cat.html |
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| http://consciouscat.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/multiple-cats.jpg |
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| Al Catpone http://imgur.com/IvokFq8 |
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| http://www.punjabigraphics.com/gangster-cat-2/ |
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| Sacred Palace http://www.kittymansions.com/Buckingham-Palace-Extra-Large-Cat-Tree-p/buckingham%20palace.htm |
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| Breading http://www.unmaintained.com/index.php/gallery-cat-breading/#.UpJP0NJDuSo |
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| Sacrilegious and punishable. This is essentially saying kiss my ass, Al Catpone style. http://seoultown.blogspot.com/2012/02/breaded-cat.html |
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| Kat Snapz http://www.feelgoodtreatco.com/img/product_snapz_lrg.jpg |
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What
happens when you miss a dose of Kat Snapz
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| http://howthehelldidienduphere.wordpress.com/2012/07/06/were-all-gonna-die-sooner-or-later/ |
Assignments
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| Business Kat http://memegenerator.net/instance/37499009?browsingOrder=Popular&browsingTimeSpan=Week |
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| Kemistry Kat http://memegenerator.net/Chemistry-Cat |
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| http://pandawhale.com/post/11757/career-options-for-your-cat |
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| http://www.angelfire.com/mh/salem/hallway/doctor_trumble.html |
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| http://costaricanflora.blogspot.com/2009/07/guide-to-my-emotions.html |
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| http://www.roflcat.com/you-got-me-ribbons |
Segment 3
Children acquire language in my culture
while still in the womb. They are born in litters and share womb space with
anywhere from two to four other children. They may not physically be able to
speak yet, however, parents are encouraged to talk to their growing bellies
frequently during pregnancy. By speaking daily to one’s litter while they are
still within, helps to familiarize the soon to be newborns to the sounds of
Kata, our language. Speaking is not really the right word, now that I think
about it. It is more of purring our language, similar to the humming that
humans do. Kata is the only language spoken by our Katizens. All other
languages are forbidden. The older Katizens knew and spoke many languages, once
the Kop took over, he outlawed all other languages except for Kata. Even with
Kata being the approved language, he has made some definite changes which I
will get to later with the history of Kata.
Once the birthing process finishes, the
litter quickly finds out what a cruel world they have been born into. They are
blind, weak and deaf, which is way it is essential to speak to the kittens
while inside the womb. While it is true they cannot hear they can still feel
the vibrations of our language during the purring phrase. After about three
weeks old, they finally have the ability to purr back. Their senses are also
developing and around week eight they are finally able to purr. During this
transition time of their life, the prelinguistic vocalization seen is
essentially purring and responding to the different vibrations of the
purrs. As they mature, they start
imitating the purring sounds and then gradual advance to spoken words.
Language reflects our culture in many
ways. Our symbol for K shows how much we revere the Kop and aspire to be the
like him. This was not always so, I will explain later. The elimination of the
letter C and the emphasis on the symbol K speaks volumes as to how important
the Kop is. The K symbol is a rainbow and Nyan Kat, which is the ultimate
symbol for Katizens. It is essentially the defining symbol that represents all
that they are. For example, the saying bread is life reflects that bread gives
physical substance. Our symbol is a cat with bread for the body. Together we
are one. Another aspect of how our language demonstrates our norms and values
is that there are many words to describe the Kop. The words we use to describe
to his magnificence is something Standard English lacks. There is no word in
Standard English that corresponds to our Kop. Standard English has some similar
meanings but it is all of those meanings put together that barely describe our
Kop. Words like revered, worshiped, almighty, most beloved, sacred, his
majesty, blessed, and so on are not enough to adequately describe his full
title and essence. The Kop is also protected by majesty laws where no one may
speak ill of him, if they do they face imprisonment.
Some other metaphors that we use in my culture directly link back
to the Unders. If one uses vulgar language, we often say you have an Under
mouth, stop being an Under, or you’re such an Under. These three metaphors have
the basic meaning of someone who uses the old language, and is unrefined, mangy
and dirty. If you use the old language clearly you lack social status. The
Unders are the only ones who use such perverse words. Other metaphor that I can
think of is no use crying over spilled lime juice. This means that yes,
something bad happen referring to the sourness of the lime juice, however, you
cannot go back in time and prevent the spill from happening, so just move on.
What is done is done. Clean it up and move on. Another metaphor we frequently
use is there’s an Under in the room. No one wants to acknowledge the Unders.
They are the Resistance and no one wants to talk about them, even though they
are a problem for the Kop and our society. So, when we say there’s an Under in
the room, we are referring not to a physical Under being present but we are
talking about a problem no one wants to talk about yet is obvious to everyone.
The history that I was taught in school is very brief. It was my
father who told me about the before language. The language that we are taught
is very different from the old language. My father has secretly been teaching
me the old language. The old language is Catalan. It has the letter that is
equivalent to Standard English C. That is the biggest difference that I have
learned so far. It wasn’t until the first Kop rose out of our society and began
implementing the changes in our language. The old language also sounds much smoother
than our new language Kata. My father says the old language is the proper
language and that Al Catpone is right in trying to revitalize Catalan. The
endings are proper, my father knows this because he was once a language teacher
before the succession of the Kop’s reign. Ever since the Kop’s reign, our
culture has changed dramatically, at least this is what my father is able to
tell me. Catpone and the Resistance is not table talk. No one utters their
names or what’s happening other than what the news reports, which is that Kop
has the Resistance under control.
Emotions are the same as Stirrings. Stirrings are strictly
forbidden outside of the home. Every night before bed, families gather around
and express an emotion they experienced during the day. Once that emotion has
been recognized everyone works out logically why that person experienced that
emotion. This helps to dissipate the emotion so that it does not come to rule
the individual. In our culture saving
face is a large part of how we behave in our society. We never express any
emotion at all. We speak in monotone voices because any inflection gives way to
any Stirrings we may feel. Our government issues Kat Snapz as a way to combat this
issue. Kat Snapz help reduce the Stirrings. The Kat Snapz help alleviate some
of the Stirrings but it is also up to the individual to keep themselves in
check. Our formal greeting demonstrates this. When encounter a fellow Katizen,
we start by saying the equivalent of “May the Stirrings have no hold over you
and may you have the strength to resist them”. We say that phrase while placing
our paw over the middle of our chest. We say this twice, when first greeting
someone and when we take our leave.
Technology has influenced our language very heavily. We have
online forums called the interweb. How we use language online has transferred
into what is Kata today. However, there is one distinction. The online usage is
much more relaxed due to the anonymity of it. The relaxed usage is also called
lolcat. There is a lot of short speak uses such as LI which means laughing
internally because any emotional release is frowned upon. Another short speak
that we use is bird above, which means that someone is watching us and we need
to stop talking about whatever topic we are discussing. We are not forbidden to
use the C on the interweb. It is mostly young kats that use the interweb, but
even then it’s not so many of us that engage in this activity. We also never
talk about the interweb outside of the privacy of our own rooms. In fact, the
more that I think about this, the more I have a feeling that I’m breaking a
rule just by talking about the interweb.
Pop culture does not really exist for us. The closest thing we
have to that would be what the Unders do. However, because they are underground
and are hiding from the Kop, the public rarely gets to view any images, sounds
or models they may have. My father once let it slip that the Unders are the
protectors of creation and of the mind haven. I was unsure of what he meant by
that. He said that before the Kop rule, there were things that caused great
Stirrings, like art, music, and literature. He couldn’t fully describe what it
was like because he himself has never seen or heard these things in real life.
He only remembers what his father before him told him as a kitten. The Kop’s reign had outlawed all of these
things calling them forbidden items and confiscating all of them.
Some of the slang words that we do have is jarb which means kewl.
Kewl being the interwb speak of describing something that is interesting.
Another slang term that we use is farang which means someone who is on the
outside of the interweb, this is mostly used to describe the adults who are not
part of the interweb. If we come across a forbidden item, we call it Kop fud
(food). We call it that because only the Kop is supposed to have access to it. We only use slang terms on the
interweb, never outside of that context. When leaving our homes for the day we
take our Kat Snapz and we are mindful to keep any Stirrings to ourselves. If we
do let a Stirring express itself publicly we are told to stop acting like an
Under. To be called an Under is not desirable at all. Another term that someone
who lets a Stirring be expressed is called a dek jarb, which is the total
opposite of kewl. If someone is being a real dek jarb by just letting the
Stirrings get the best of them, they are said to be a onion. Onions in our
society is very toxic, it can kill us if consumed. By someone being called an
onion is the absolute worst thing. It means that they are killing our society,
they stink, and they have no concern for our unity.
Some of the words we use such as rane refers to the water that
falls out from the sky but it also can be used to describe anything wet or
anything having to do with liquid form. So, someone could be asked why they are
so rane or someone could ask for more lime rane which is the liquid from the
lime plant. Another term that is particularly useful in knowing is obviously
the Kop. You can use this word to describe all things that are good or cool.
Gender is not really specified in our language. There is no distinction between
male and female. We all call ourselves kats. The Kop knew that it was a good
idea to keep all of us unified. He forbids any distinction between males and
females, such as forms like he/she, him/her. In order to address this issue
when speaking about a Kat we always mention their name when speaking because if
their name ends in a o it is implied they are male and if their name ends in an
a they are female.
I hope that I have already touched on the uses of Kop and Under to
show how politics play out in my language. The media promotes the act of
breading and what kind of bread one can use when breading. The media also
reinforces the greatness and the right to lead the Kop has. They do this by
playing a Kop moment with every news segment. A Kop moment could be a picture
of the Kop doing some volunteer work at schools or it could be the Kop waving
at the crowds inside the sacred palace. We
are united in spirit, but we are physically divided from each other. We keep at
least three feet away from the next Kat. We like to be together just not in
each other’s personal space.
Works Cited
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